Atlanta (November 22, 2005) – Of course, it was – pure and simple – a "technical" malfunction. Only right-wing conspiracy theorists could believe that the incident, first reported by Drudge Report, in which the CNN-televised speech of Vice President Cheney was intermittently superimposed with X marks, was the maligned work of partisan, Cheney-haters at this venerable cable news network. In reality, this incident happened in a truly coincidental fashion, “outside of human control,” Mr. Steve Alperin, CNN Vice President for Engineering, said at a press conference late last night. CNN technicians were preparing a private feed of an XXX movie for CNN president Jon Klein, when an “electromagnetic burst” of unknown intensity occurred in the stratosphere above Atlanta. This cosmic event fused the private feed with the public telecast of Vice President Cheney speech, causing this regrettable X-Cheney incident. Just to prove his explanation, Mr. Alperin elaborated that if you owned a high-definition digital video recorder and played the Cheney tape backward at a “pixelation rate of 1056 Gbaud,” you could see “the same XXX movie” that Mr. Jon Klein was watching yesterday.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
X-CNN
Atlanta (November 22, 2005) – Of course, it was – pure and simple – a "technical" malfunction. Only right-wing conspiracy theorists could believe that the incident, first reported by Drudge Report, in which the CNN-televised speech of Vice President Cheney was intermittently superimposed with X marks, was the maligned work of partisan, Cheney-haters at this venerable cable news network. In reality, this incident happened in a truly coincidental fashion, “outside of human control,” Mr. Steve Alperin, CNN Vice President for Engineering, said at a press conference late last night. CNN technicians were preparing a private feed of an XXX movie for CNN president Jon Klein, when an “electromagnetic burst” of unknown intensity occurred in the stratosphere above Atlanta. This cosmic event fused the private feed with the public telecast of Vice President Cheney speech, causing this regrettable X-Cheney incident. Just to prove his explanation, Mr. Alperin elaborated that if you owned a high-definition digital video recorder and played the Cheney tape backward at a “pixelation rate of 1056 Gbaud,” you could see “the same XXX movie” that Mr. Jon Klein was watching yesterday.
