Kristol assumes US presidency and withdraws Miers today

Washington DC (October 8, 2005) – At a press conference on Capitol Hill this morning, Mr. Bill Kristol, a top dog of the neocon movement announced that he had “assumed the Presidency of the United States” and withdrawn the Miers nomination to the US Supreme Court, “effective immediately.” As the leader of the “elitist conservative pundit movement,” he felt obligated to step in and “take over the presidency from Mr. Bush” to avert the looming “constitutional train wreck heading toward the conservative base,” said Mr. Kristol. Responding to questions from reporters, Mr. Kristol conceded that Mr. Bush was “elected” President in 2004, but “what happened in 2004, should stay in 2004”, said Mr. Kristol. He also assigned his vice president Charles Krauthammer to lead the search for a new Supreme Court nominee. In a statement from the White House, Mr. Scott Mc Clellan, the President’s spokesman, commented that “the last time I look, President Bush still sits in the Oval Office.”