Breaking News: Bush’s swagger found on eBay

Colorado Springs (September 24, 2005) – Only hours after the Washington Post reported that President Bush was missing his swagger, a housewife in Colorado Springs called CNN2 to announce that she had found it on eBay at 8:17 AM CDT this morning. The bidding was still going on and the current bid was at $ 19.99 submitted by Senator John Kerry. A spokesman for Senator Kerry confirmed the bid and explained that the Senator "desperately wants to possess this swagger” because “that was the weapon that killed my Presidential campaign last year.” The White House also confirmed the secret eBay operation but commented that “Senator Kerry’s bid was too low” and reflected again the Senator’s lack of “swagger expertise.” In response to questions from reporters, President Bush justified the fact that he was selling his swagger on eBay. In light of the nation’s financial burden due to Iraq, Katrina and Rita, he was doing “whatever it takes” to help, the President said.