Thursday, October 27, 2005

Breaking News: Sweeping indictments in the CIA Plame affair

Washington DC (October 28, 2005) – A gigantic political bomb exploded today in the nation’s capital. Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald has issued a long list of indictments in the CIA Plame case. Leading the list were Vice President Dick Cheney indicted for "discussing top-secret CIA information with his staff", Mr. Lewis Libby for trying to "defend his boss’ policy" in the media and Mr. Karl Rove for "practicing architect without a license." Also indicted were Mr. Joe Wilson, former diplomat for "lying about the Niger affair," his wife Valerie Plame for "posing publicly" in the Vanity Fair magazine while claiming being a covert CIA agent, and Mr. Arthur Sulzberger Jr., Publisher of the New York Times for “stupidity in demanding a federal investigation for a non-crime.” The Special Prosecutor also indicted 237 neighbors of the Wilsons, who currently live or have lived in the same subdivision for “involuntary acquiring knowledge” about Ms. Plame’s presumably secret occupation. As expected, the Democrats applauded Mr. Fitzgerald’s action while the White House refused to comment. The DC police had blocked the traffic around the E. Barrett Prettyman Federal Courthouse for the whole Friday, so that all 243 indictees could surrender to the authority and be processed without disturbance.