Irving, Texas (October 30, 2005) – Four days after reporting a record quarterly profit of nearly 10 billion dollars, Exxon Mobil CEO Lee Raymond announced in a press conference today that his company will return most of the profit to the American people. Mr. Raymond described in details a "multi-step program" to give the profit back to the consumers. First, every American with a valid car registration will automatically receive a 50 gallon drum of crude oil, delivered free of charge. First delivery is expected by Thanksgiving. Second, every American who buys at least 5,000 gallon of gas from now to Christmas, will receive a free, all-expenses-paid two-week vacation for two persons at the five-star Exxon Mobil resorts in the South Pacific. Of course, the resort hotel complex is located on one of the high-tech, oil-drilling platform 500 feet above the sea level. Free helicopter service to Sidney, Australia is included. Third, Exxon Mobil will build for every American, who consumes at least 20,000 gallon of gas per year, a real, private, functioning, full-service Exxon Mobil gas station within 200 yards of the property. This can be also build directly in the back yard, if requested, Mr. Raymond said. According to CBS News, Shell will match the Exxon Mobil program effective immediately.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Exxon Mobil gives back profit
Irving, Texas (October 30, 2005) – Four days after reporting a record quarterly profit of nearly 10 billion dollars, Exxon Mobil CEO Lee Raymond announced in a press conference today that his company will return most of the profit to the American people. Mr. Raymond described in details a "multi-step program" to give the profit back to the consumers. First, every American with a valid car registration will automatically receive a 50 gallon drum of crude oil, delivered free of charge. First delivery is expected by Thanksgiving. Second, every American who buys at least 5,000 gallon of gas from now to Christmas, will receive a free, all-expenses-paid two-week vacation for two persons at the five-star Exxon Mobil resorts in the South Pacific. Of course, the resort hotel complex is located on one of the high-tech, oil-drilling platform 500 feet above the sea level. Free helicopter service to Sidney, Australia is included. Third, Exxon Mobil will build for every American, who consumes at least 20,000 gallon of gas per year, a real, private, functioning, full-service Exxon Mobil gas station within 200 yards of the property. This can be also build directly in the back yard, if requested, Mr. Raymond said. According to CBS News, Shell will match the Exxon Mobil program effective immediately.
