Washington DC (November1, 2005) – Top-secret dispatches, that CNN just obtained from high-level sources inside an unnamed “national intelligence agency,” indicated that a nuclear war of unprecedented intensity is “about to explode” in the nation’s capital. The event that triggered this unimaginable scenario was the nomination of Judge Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court of the United States by President Bush yesterday morning. Mr. Howard Dean, the Democratic National Chairman, immediately raised the “Code Red Alert” for his party and set their massive mobilization plan in action to mount a nationwide frontal attack on Judge Alito. “We will use every weapons in our possession to kill this nomination and save the country from the right wing fanatics,” Mr. Dean said. Senator Chuck Schumer (D-New York), the Judiciary Committee member, also threatened with the controversial filibuster, which “has always been and still is on the table.” On the other side of the battle line, the Republicans appeared undeterred, they have raised their "party preparedness to the DEFCON 1 level" and "we are ready to go to battle,” Vice President Cheney said in a terse statement late yesterday evening. “If the Democrats are looking for a fight, we'll be up for the fight. We won't back down...” Senator Frist, (R-Tennessee), the Senate Majority Leader, declared in a radio interview last night. “ We are prepared to execute the nuclear option, if that is what the Democrats want,” Mr. Frist added. The fate of the nation and the future of humanity are now determined by the Democratic Code Red Alert against the Republican DEFCON 1. In the meantime, the tension inside the Beltway has become uncomfortably palpable and is getting unbearable with every passing minute. Fearing that the looming nuclear conflict in Washington DC would destroy the world peace, Mr. Mohamed ElBaradei, the UN General Director of the International Atomic Energy Agency IAEA and 2005 Nobel Peace Prize winner, had offered his service to mediate between the warring parties, however at a price of 100,000 barrel crude oil per day.
